I would trade some old faded newsclippings of no particular subject for some velvety butter that I can smooth on my delicate bum bum. I prefer "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter." But not the spray. That will sting my stretchmarks. I plan to smack my adorable perky bum until it is bright and rosy red. If you have any extra cartons of butter, I indeed will trade you my valuable newsclippings. (They are of no value.) If you would prefer to come and slather the butter on my bum yourself, that would be okay as well. Just promise not to peek, or I will be humiliated.
By far this is one of the most hilarious requests I've seen yet on Craigslist! As a matter of fact, there was even a name and picture of the "bum bum" ready for spreading! But I held back on posting the name, just in case someone is playing a cruel joke on another person!