I Saw Good Luck Chuck So Will You Sleep With Me Please

Anonymously Posted in Washington D.C.

So, I've recently come to the realization that I possess a remarkable skill. I have the ability to reconnect women with ex-boyfriends that broke up with them. Now, some of you might be saying "Hey, that's pretty cool! How do you do that? I could make millions, or at least I could use that to trick women into sleeping with me!". Let me tell you, it sucks! The last three "girlfriends" I've had have all had their ex-boyfriends contact them shortly after starting to date me!

It took about a month and a half after we began dating for the first girl's ex to reconnect with her. And I really liked her (and he is an abusive asshole, she deserves so much better). Man did that suck. With the second girl, it took about three and a half weeks for her guy to come back (he was supposed to have left the freaking country!). I really liked her too. The third girl, it took her ex literally two days to contact her after our first date (and they had been apart for over five years!).

So, I appear to be getting better at this. Not only can I get you your boyfriend back within a few days, I can bring him back from incredibly unlikely circumstances. Have you been pining over an ex? Want him to give you a call? Perhaps he moved to Russia 12 years ago, got married, has 7 children, and you haven't heard from him since. No problem! One dinner and a movie with me and he'll likely be waiting on your doorstep when I drop you off.

Now, I haven't had a chance to properly test this, but I suspect that my skill works much better if we sleep together. Now, this might not be absolutely necessary, but you do really want to see your ex again right? Why risk it.

Shhh - Don't Tell My Husband

Trailer for Sale - $40 less than husband wants for it - TODAY ONLY!
My husband has been posting his trailer for sale for about 2 weeks for $125.I want it gone - BADLY!!!
Here's the deal - if you come here before he gets home tonight - around 6:30, I WILL SELL IT FOR $40 LESS THAN HE IS!!!!
I will sell you the trailer, which is a Toyota truck bed welded strongly onto a trailer, with 5-prong universal hitch (working tail-lights).
Email for directions, sorry I don't have a picture!

Here's a response I found:
No need to reply. You are completely mad! I love it. Fantastic. I wish more folks on craigslist had your sense of humor. Your ad is legend. It should go on the "best of craigslist" site! I hope y'all sell the trailer.

We are being watched. I read about forums of people all accross the country that keep in touch with each other and monitor all of the CL boards. They collectivly decide who to flag using some fancy algorythim(sic). We caught one and this is his mug shot---

I Need a Care Giver

So I just got my medical card and now I need a care giver. Are any of you CL readers a care giver with room for one more client? Send me an e-mail and let me know. Thanks for reading

Translation: I got a doctor to give me a prescription for weed, and now I need a grower to supply it for me. If anyone out there grows pot, please email me so that I can hook up. Thanks.

Turn Dog Poop Into Dollars!

Do you love dogs and like making money? As you will see, this may be a simple business, but it definitely has super profit margins and a great return on your investment. Get your own exclusive protected territory.

"Keeping your Lawn Green and your Shoes Clean!"

Are Sexual Orientation Labels Required on Craigslist Now?

If it's not a requirement, then these two must be having a personal spat about the dog! These are two separate posts listed on Craigslist, I'm guessing they are neighbors!

Lesbians need fencing so their dog can run free

Me and my partner just moved to Welches and we have a little dog that needs a fenced yard. There is approx 50 feet we need to fence. I know there are kind people out here that enjoy helping those in need. I am one of those people when I have the resources. At this time we are hard pressed to come up with extra money to buy fencing. Poor little Emma is not allowed outside much because she runs everywhere. Please help if you can. I can barter my services if interested. I work with energies and can help you clean your aura and get rid of physical, emotional and mental pains. Thank you for your time.

Hetrosexual Looking For Fencing Material

Me (male) and my girlfriend (female) would like some free fencing so that our neighbors dog will quit coming into our back yard and pooping on our lawn.

Very interesting, I wonder if anyone dares to get in the middle of this one!?!

British Pony Poop For Plants

Original Ad Reads:
You haul big or small! Aged pony/sheep/chicken manure empty 50 pound grain bags and shovels provided for backyard gardeners to Fill and Haul. Easy to get to in a covered manure shed. I have no tractor for loading, but can provide some shovels and 50 pound grain bags. Fill up a bag and put it in your car boot! (trunk for Americans, but the ponies are British, so using a British term!) If we fill the bag at $2 each. Come by anytime between 9am and 5pm on Labor Day (we'll be having a garage sale too) or email to ask about other times. We'll be around most of the next 4 days.

Translation:
We don't have any way to dispose of all of the animal poop that is produced on our land, so we'll make you an offer - You can have it FREE!!! In fact, this is very special aged British pony poop, and it's available to you at no cost for a limited time only. We also carry old chicken and sheep poop, and we'll bag it for you for two bucks a bag, that way you don't have to shovel the old poop yourself.