Are you looking for a new job to complain about? Are you looking for new friends to listen to your complaints? Are you looking for new skills to overly embellish on your future resume? Then perhaps you should consider applying for a position in our office. We are a law firm. We help people. You can too.
Skills you will acquire: How to manage time effectively due to the challenging workload How to manage stress effectively due to the challenging workload How to discreetly cry in the bathroom due to the challenging workload How to turn all of that into a meme for your cubicle
Benefits: Health Insurance Simple IRA Free lunch if certain goals are met Free booze, in the form of Happy Hour hosted events Free baked goods for all on birthdays
Bragging Rights: Robin Hood Complex (taking sweet, sweet money from the government to help the less fortunate)
Millennials, hipsters, and those with mediocre expectations and dreams are encouraged to apply. Send me your resume. Must be available Monday through Friday 8 am - 5 pm, full time.