Sunday, December 17, 2017

I Don't Know What This Job is About But I Want It

Whatever you want to put on your next resume (Multnomah) hide this posting

© craigslist - Map data © OpenStreetMap
compensation: $12/hr
employment type: full-time 
Are you looking for a new job to complain about?
Are you looking for new friends to listen to your complaints?
Are you looking for new skills to overly embellish on your future resume?
Then perhaps you should consider applying for a position in our office. We are a law firm. We help people. You can too.

Skills you will acquire:
How to manage time effectively due to the challenging workload
How to manage stress effectively due to the challenging workload
How to discreetly cry in the bathroom due to the challenging workload
How to turn all of that into a meme for your cubicle

Benefits:
Health Insurance
Simple IRA
Free lunch if certain goals are met
Free booze, in the form of Happy Hour hosted events
Free baked goods for all on birthdays

Bragging Rights:
Robin Hood Complex (taking sweet, sweet money from the government to help the less fortunate)

Millennials, hipsters, and those with mediocre expectations and dreams are encouraged to apply. Send me your resume. Must be available Monday through Friday 8 am - 5 pm, full time.

    3 comments:

    Anonymous said...

    good day→https://www.adlist24.com

    lilanlan said...

    good
    sacramento escorts

    help said...

    washington dc escorts Great works are performed not by strengh, but by perseverance.